“Celebrate good times, come on!” ~ Kool and the Gang

So, I came across a speech I made at the Relay for Life some years ago and it was all about celebrating ma. I didn’t want to just focus on her being a breast cancer survivor at the time, but for the person she truly was. As I read it today, something awesome happened…I started to smile and cry and laugh and it felt great. No matter what she endured in her life, she was a wonderful parent and friend, and Terri and I talk often about how proud we always were of her! And…here’s some reasons why!

Ma was a voracious reader! Even before I could climb up on her lap myself, ma would spend hours reading to me and teaching me to love books and reading just as much as she did. Opening up these ‘worlds’ to me taught my imagination to soar…something that I hope I still have! As adults, ma, Terri and I always recommended books to each other and discussed the merits of various authors. (Me and Terri love Wally Lamb…but ma wouldn’t read him 🙄). One of her biggest fears in life was having an over-due library book and she would never let us borrow her card…just in case we didn’t get the book back in time. Sheesh!

Ma was a sucker for holidays! She always wrapped all of our presents perfectly and put so much thought into them. Ma saved all of the glue-y school decorations Terri and I brought home and got them out every year at Christmas. When we were kids, we got to pick our special birthday meal. My go to was Kraft Mac and Cheese and green beans. (I had simple tastes then…but honestly, this sounds pretty fucking good right now 😳)! We also got to pick our cake and we most often chose a frozen concoction called Pistachio Dessert. For the last 10 years, German chocolate was my favorite and no one made the coconut icing like ma did.

Ma was a terrific cook and her chili, minestrone, lasagna, zucchini bread, chocolate chip bars, and the list goes on are going to be missed. She ALWAYS brought broccoli casserole to EVERY family gathering and I’m so happy Terri is taking that task over…beautifully I might add. BUT…ma could NOT make a meat loaf. They were ‘grayish’ (🤢) and hard and crusty and she absolutely hated that my mother in law made the best kick-ass meatloaf in the world! Ma never could get that right!

Ma was also extremely talented and made scores of quilts, intricate cross stitch pictures, knitted items, sequined stockings, and the list could go on and on! Ma passed on her love of sewing to me and Terri and always gave us each a special quilt that she made for us at Christmas. We cherish all of them! A couple of years ago, we made ma a quilt! We each made a side and she quilted it on her long-arm machine…she loved having something that had both of us in it!

Ma was so supportive of my education! She was always room mom for Terri and me in elementary school and celebrated our successes. She made a big deal of graduations and when Terri graduated with her LPN years ago, ma gave a great party and was so proud! My favorite memory of her in school was in the 3rd grade: she did a craft with my class that consisted of gluing pieces of fabric to flower pots. I felt so special that my ma was craft lady for the day and the best part was that she wore a pink t-shirt pop had gotten her with the words “Foxy Lady” printed on it. Even NOW, if I run into someone from grade school, they still tell me how cool ma was!

All through my growing up years, ma was a self-confessed dog hater! She didn’t like them…wouldn’t pet them…and never once even considered having one in her home. Then I got Scooter when I moved into my own apartment. The first meeting between them did not go well and when I brought him over, she insisted he stay in a crate. Period. The 2nd time, she petted him and said I could hold him but not put him on the floor. Then something amazing happened: she started calling Scooter her ‘grand-dog’ and showered him with love and attention! If he piddled on her carpet, she’d simply smile and grab a paper towel. I was gobsmacked when she did this because if I dare drop a crumb from my Oreos, she’d have a conniption. Dottie may have been her very special dog out of all the ones I’ve had, but Scooter was her break through. And I know, without a doubt, that all 3 cuddle often in heaven.

Ma was great in emergencies. Terri and could call her about anything and she would be there…helping us in whatever way she could. Ma went to surgeries with me, loaned me money when I was struggling to make ends meet, commiserated with me when I had problems at school or work, and always hugged me tight when my heart was broken. Terri and I have always been amazed that such a small woman could have had such strong shoulders.

Ma was a shopper. A browser. A thrift store lover. And a buyer! I’ll never forget when I was collecting Beanie Babies and ma stood in line with me (in 85 degree weather) for 3 hours to get a bear that is now available on e-bay for a quarter. Ma always took her grandkids shopping for school clothes and O just loves the memory of that. And the best part of shopping with her was when ma said a sentence Terri and I loved: “Oh…go ahead and grab it…I want to get it for you!” She was always so generous with us!

Ma was comforting to me. I specifically remember being in high school and waking up from a terrible dream. I cried out and ma came running in my room and held me close to her. No matter what was going on in my life, I would be comforted just by being close to her.

Ma was so smart! NO one could do word puzzles and games like her and playing Scrabble with her was intense…to say the least. Terri and I dreaded winning…because the look she got on her face when she lost was dreadful. We can both imitate it perfectly! The info she knew was boggling and she did her NYT Crosswords and sudokus in PEN! Now that’s confidence!

You know, as I was writing this and going through a ton of pictures, I was reminded how lucky I was to have ma. I miss her terribly. I’d give about anything to have her back for even a day, and I’d take a year off my life to have another with her. But I know this is impossible so I make do with what I have: knowing that ma was fantastic in so many ways and how very lucky I was to have her for as long as I did.

Love you ma. Love you more.

Kristi xoxo