So, I’m going to be honest right from the start and I hope you understand but I’m not a big fan of yours. I’m sorry, it’s just that I try so hard to teach my sweetie students that their beauty and worth comes from within, and then for them to see you on Instagram wearing corsets, in make-up that looks to be as thick as a steak, and then photoshopped to where you have no hair follicles kind of confuses them. But anyhoot, I digress (which is very common for me to do 🙄).
Look, your husband needs help. And he needs it now. It’s true Kanye and I have very little in common. I’m white and he’s black. I’m a woman and he’s a man, I’m a middle-class professor in a smallish city in IL and he’s a star that jet sets across the world, and I’m not running for president (yet…but a gal at Hobby Lobby told me I should…what do you think 😳?). However, we both have bipolar disease and that connects us more than anything else could.
I know you are well aware of his mental illness, but I don’t understand why you haven’t helped him get the long-term treatment that could benefit him tremendously. Yes, he was in a mental health facility for a short while in 2016 which led to his diagnosis, but that was only a band-aid on what he really needs. I know he doesn’t want to take medications in case it ‘stifles his creativity’ (I like to macrame 🤨) and in his line of work I get that. But you need to realize that Kanye suffers from something called anosognosia which is an inability for him to realize he sick. You have to be his ‘eye’s for him right now.
And Kim, he is very sick. Look, if your hubby was suffering from appendicitis and needed to go to the ER, you’d take him in a flash (or your chauffeur would…I have one too I can call on: I call her ‘ma’ 🙄) even if he said it was just gas. By the same token, people with mental illness often don’t ‘see’ what’s happening to them and if they do, they’ll deny the fuck out of it (BTW, does your ma get pissed when you say ‘fuck’…I know mine does. Maybe they could chat sometime about that. Also, I’d like to ask Kris to show my ma how to style her short hair in different ways…I think she’d like that 🤔). I know this because I’ve done the exact same thing.
A lot of people don’t realize that some of us with untreated bipolar can become psychotic, and in my humble opinion (it’s actually not humble…I’m kinda smart about stuff like this since I’m a psychology professor…just sayin’) your hubby is experiencing pretty severe delusions which puts him in this category of symptoms.
Look, he’s compared himself to Picasso, Walt Disney, Andy Warhol, Michael Jackson (I wouldn’t be too proud of that one…just sayin’) and Shakespeare. The most egregious one though? Jesus Christ. Honey, these are humongous signs that Kanye NEEDS meds in order for him to have a better grasp on reality. He’s also admitted to being ‘hyper-paranoid’ which shows even more psychosis.
This all has to be hard on you and your adorable kids and having a daddy that’s mentally ill is something that all the clothes and toys in the world won’t fix (BTW, I wear a size 6 and would love any hand-me-downs 🤩). Kids need their daddy to be ‘there’ for them and not just physically, but mentally too. Your cutie boys, Saint and Psalm (I named my little guy – he’s 26 – Oliver and I thought that was a bit edgy) need a strong and stable male role model.
We all know how people laugh at your husband. They call him crazy. Ignorant. Stupid. Insane. Psycho. I don’t think he’s aware of this and if he is, doesn’t take it seriously. But I do know this has to hurt you because it’s hurt me and my ma when I’m called bad things too (another question, do you ever call Kris ‘ma’? I just can’t picture that for some reason 😵). Over the years I’ve been called crazy, psycho, a liar, and an attention seeking bitch just to name a few. And every time I hear words like this, it’s like my heart is being pierced again and again. The hurt is unfathomable.
It’s funny how most of us use the correct rhetoric in TALKING about mental illness, but so many people don’t try to UNDERSTAND it when it shows itself. If I have a very high fever and start babbling incoherently (which I do most nights after 9:00 p.m. which is my bedtime…I’m a real party animal like yourself 😎), no one will take the words seriously (which is very true right now since I’m single. BTW, do you know Taron Egerton? Just askin’). Right? By the same token, I wish people accepted the fact the mentally ill will say and do things their disease/disorder is directing.
Kimmy (can I call you that?), getting your hubby help can do more than stabilize him…it could save his life. MentalIllnessPolicy.org reports that at least the 5,000 suicides per year that are committed by people who have schizophrenia or bipolar could be prevented if the people get adequate psychiatric treatment. And Dr. Ken Duckworth (NAMI) states that at least 90% of all suicides are by people who have an untreated or under-treated mood disorder. See, we aren’t just talking about his mental well being here, we are talking about his survival.
I can tell you this, Kim: having bipolar sucks balls. Bad. Having so much swirling around in your head and going between being so happy and so depressed is like riding a roller coaster that never ends. I actually don’t know what it’s like to have a ‘normal’ functioning brain and if I contemplate it too much, I get over-whelmed. I really do. You know, not much scares me in the world. Yes, I have concerns and live my life with some caution, but my fucking brain and emotions are the most scary thing I have to encounter. And I get to face it everyday. Every single day. As I’m writing this paragraph, my stomach is turning and my eyes are tearing. It’s like a boulder sitting on my shoulders and some days it’s a bit lighter and on others it’s heavier. But the damn thing is always there. Always. This boulder has made people back away from me…dump me…treat me differently…and affect how my co-workers see me and my contributions even though I’m a fucking amazing professor (yes, that’s bragging, but why can’t we toot our own horns sometimes? That’s going to be another post so stay tuned! ✎).
Kimmy, get your hubby help. Silence his freaking YES MEN and screw what others say. Please. I know this is a monumental task and that you can’t force him to take the help that’s out there. But you can put consequences in place if he won’t…like distancing your little sweeties from his instability. Please don’t make him suffer anymore. He needs you right now to forcibly guide him in the way you know he needs to go. Now.